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Love songs are everywhere. But does anyone have a definition of love, which — people claim — makes the world go around? Sure, it’s easy to tell when you’re in love with someone. [The heart pounds and you act like an idiot.] But it’s much harder to say if you actually love someone.

Enter the mind of Harry Jenkins, as he is about to make love to Natasha,

And then he laughed at himself as he sank beneath the covers. No sane man would question such free and voluptuous pleasure, as if it could only be valued through thought. Only an idiot or a fool would try to analyze love and passion

Nonetheless, like the fool, I seek a definition. Perhaps it is the lawyer in me. On the subject of love, Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist, is a sobering read. All of us, supposedly, carry within us, an animus [if you’re female] and an anima [if you’re male], which is the idealized image of the person you love. And so, when you are in love you are projecting this idealized image on a real, live person who might be naturally quite entitled to be different.

After the honeymoon, those annoying little cracks in the image appear, which could certainly explain the high divorce rate. When you find the real person doesn’t exactly match your superimposed ideal, what do you do?

All of these thoughts led me to explore people’s ideas of all kinds of love, not just the romantic variety, in Final Paradox, the second in The Osgoode Trilogy.

Harry Jenkins is the lawyer protagonist throughout the trilogy, which contain storylines of murder and fraud. He is in the thrall of the beautiful Natasha. His aging father, who abandoned him as a child, has just asked his forgiveness. Harry can’t seem to find that in his heart. Natasha asks him—

What do you think love is?
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s about wanting someone as part of your life. Wanting them always with you.” He looked into her eyes. “Why? What do you think?”

“I think it’s about getting outside yourself and seeing another person’s life from their point of view. At least that’s a start,” Natasha replied.

Harry heard his father’s words. It’s all about you, is it? Would he always be the kid, he wondered?

Another character musing about love is Norma Dinnick — an elderly client of Harry’s who trips back and forth between lucidity and madness. She recollects her stew of feelings for various men.

Going back to her hotel, Norma tried to understand. She knew about affection and caring for Arthur, her husband, who kept her safe from the emptiness. But she did not understand this business of love, which David talked about. She did know that such emotions gave her a sense of power. The sheer lust she experienced in the presence of George made her feel weak and vulnerable.

Norma simply doesn’t understand about love and neither does Bronwyn — another character. An embittered soul, she has married a gay man and on her honeymoon – She wandered the narrow beach of sand and stone where the boats ferried back and forth to the grottos. No Peter. But then she saw him at a distance on the beach walking slowly with a younger man she did not know. Where had they come from? Right from the start, she had known. Of course, the bargain was unspoken but well understood. For money and security, Bronwyn had sacrificed any chance for love.

But in the end, Harry does begin to get it. In bed with the lovely Natasha, he was

…transported outside his own body, he was overcome with the desire to know the dreams, fantasies, and mysteries she held within. He would enter her world with love and understanding and never leave. The awe he felt in her closeness made his breathing slow and deepen in rhythm with hers. He watched his hand reach out of the shadows to smooth the sheet. She was at last in his bed and, fearing a mirage, he dared not wake her. In the past two weeks, his world had been shaken. His mind had become a jumble of colliding, conflicting events and consequences. Now he felt her power to draw his life together. A still peace gently settled over him like a silken web of meaning.

Starting Workout Routines: For Women Who Don’t Normally Exercise

If you’ve decided to get fit in the new year then it’s important to know that not all workout routines for women are created equal. We all start at different fitness levels, so if you don’t normally exercise then you may find it harder to get into new routines. For the sake of your health and your motivation, follow these tips to make sure you go about things the right way.

Checking With Your Doctor

This isn’t always essential, but it could be a good idea to check with your doctor if you haven’t exercised in a long time. This is especially important if you have a chronic health condition or any symptoms that may interfere with physical activity.

Even if you are healthy, going for a physical assessment can help you know what level you’re at, and boost your determination to get started. Knowing how fit (or unfit!) you are before you start can be great motivation to continue, and a measure for your future success.

Getting The Right Workout Gear

If you’re about to start doing workout routines for women then you’re going to want to make sure you have comfortable clothing to work out in. There’s no need to spend a fortune, but you need to make sure that what you do have allows you to move freely. It’s especially important to invest in a good sports bra to protect the breasts, and some good training shoes that will help you to avoid problems with your joints and back.

How To Fit Exercise Into Your Daily RoutineWorkout routines for women who don’t exercise may seem to take up a lot of time – time that you may not have – but the truth is that just about anyone can fit the exercise they need into their daily routine. All you need to do is make sure you get some aerobic activity for at least 10 minutes at a time, preferably a few times a day. This could even include walking to the store, climbing stairs, or doing the gardening.

Pushing Through The Obstacles

If you don’t normally exercise, then starting new workout routines can often present new challenges. For a start, you’ll find that exercise quickly tires you out. That’s ok – it’s better to exercise for short periods of time (maybe 10 minutes) and do it consistently until you build up. You may also find that your muscles ache, so compensate for this by working out different muscles every day and taking a couple of days off each week. Remember – if you start to feel any serious symptoms it’s important to see a doctor.

Workout routines for women who don’t normally exercise will be a challenge, but you can be flexible. Do what you need to do to keep yourself motivated. Every day you’ll find that you can push yourself a little further, and the rewards will soon start to outweigh the pain.

The Integrative Buddhist Psychology to reduce the Violence Problem in Family in Suratthani Province

Authors

Abstract

This objectives of this research were: 1) to study and analyze the problems of family violence in Suratthani Province 2) to study and analyze the using Buddhist principles and Rogers’s counseling psychological discipline for integration to reduce the problem of family violence in Suratthani province. This research was conducted in the areas of Suratthani province using qualitative research methodology. The data were collected from 24 informants who were heads of family, never used violence in family using the In-depth-interview and from 9 participants using focus group discussion. Both data were analyzed and synthesized according to research’s objectives.

The results of this research found that

  1. the problems of family violence in Suratthani Province found that they were in 13 Districts, the kinds of family violence consisted of 1) body (hurt, died) 71.1 % 2) gender (rape, immoral conduct, gangbang) 13.1 % 3) mind (detain, look down, revile) 10.2 % ��� 4) other (neglect, abandon) 5.6 %, the causes of the problem of family violence in Suratthani province consisting of 1) infidelity 2) jealousness 3) drinking alcohol 4) Drug example amphetamine 5) economic problem and being out of work 6) body and mental health problem 7) borrowing money 8) restive habit 9) gamester. The violence in family that happened in Suratthani province affected to close person and society directly and indirectly, that is, 1) economic effect 2) social effect and 3) public health effect. To prevent and to solve the violence problem family in Surat thani province in past were done by itself family and by government sector that had responsibility about that problem directly.
  2. to use the Buddhist principles and Rogers’s counseling psychological discipline for integration to reduce problem of violence family in Suratthani found that the Buddhist principles for solving violence family in Suratthani province consisting of the Tree Admonitions or Exhortations of the Buddha or Buddha-ovada, the Noble Eightfold Path, four Brahmavihàra, four Gharavasa-dhamma, four Sangahavatthu and the Four Noble truths, but principles of counseling psychology according to Karl Roger’s concept for solving a violence in family in Surat thani Province consisted of three important basic concepts, that is, 1) to understand of human nature 2) to develop for balance of self and 3) true love of person who was a leader of family which generate from good relation between them. In using of Buddhist principles and Roger’s principle of counseling psychology, the person who was family leader had to persist in and follow in 2 principles, especially the use of logic and not to use of emotion, to be good modeling for family’s member and to give a time in doing various activities together with family and to counsel always when family’s member got various problems.